Thursday, January 4, 2018

sometimes the wheels on the bus don't go round and round

Sometimes they just fall right off all at once.

Here is a passage from a book I recently read.

"Parent time is like fairy time but real. It is magic without pixie dust and spells. It defies physics without bending the laws of time and space. It is that truism everyone offers but no one believes until after they have children that time will actually speed, fleet enough to leave you jet-lagged and whiplashed and racing all at once. Your tiny, perfect baby nestles in your arms his first afternoon home, and then ten months later, he's off to his senior year of high school. You give birth to twins so small and alike, they lie mirrored, each with a head in the palm of one hand while their toes reach only to the crooks of your elbows, but it's only a year before they start looking at colleges. It is so impossible yet so universally experienced that magic is the only explanation."

I loved this description.

I can remember looking into the faces of my children when they were newly home from the hospital. All of the hopes and dreams I had for them. You want them to be happy in life -- of course, you know that life isn't one big basket of happy -- life can be challenging, sad, etc. -- but you want them to grab every bit of happy they can.

Well, the wheels began falling off several weeks before Christmas, and life got very challenging and very sad for my children. I'm sure for those of you who are parents; you know that when your child is hurting, you are hurting. And both of mine are hurting right now. We are dealing with depression that has hit rock bottom and brings me to a word I can't even write here, and a completely unexpected, out of the blue event for my daughter. We are all just feeling a little stunned and overwhelmed right now.

I don't like to get too personal on my blog, (I guess I couldn't have gotten more personal) and I have gone back over this post and changed it quite a few times, but I would sincerely appreciate any prayers, positive thoughts, energy -- you could send our way.

Thankfully, time doesn't stand still, and I know we will eventually see our way past this difficult period. Right now for me, it is putting one foot in front of the other and a smile on my face and finding time each day to escape a little into the things I love. I finished stitching this small ornament from Blackbird Designs right before Christmas.



I promise to be a little more cheery next time. Until then I know blogging friends aren't real life friends, but your visits to my blog and your comments and emails and little glimpses into your lives make life happier, and I thank all of you.

We are experiencing the so-called "bomb cyclone" today as I'm sure a lot of you are. I'm so over this winter already, and we are only at the beginning of January. 

Until next time stay warm and safe and take care.

16 comments:

TracyH said...

Dear Penny !I have never read your blog before today and it breaks my heart to have arrived on such a painful day,please know my thoughts and prayers are with you,and thank you for being willing to share this with your readers ,I think the message that we all need too reach out for help sometimes is a positive one and who knows who else might follow your example.Take care.

Robin in Virginia said...

Lifting you and yours up in thought and prayer. Sweet finish you shared.

Carol said...

Oh, dear Penny--sending you a caring, caring hug, as one mom to another. I can feel your pain and worry in your eloquent words so deeply that I have tears in my eyes. Sometimes I think a parent worries even more about grown up children as they have more grown up problems. And to have not one, but two children who you're worried about makes it even harder.

I'm glad you can escape into your stitching and reading even if for only a few moments. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers as are your dear children, Penny...

marly said...

Hey. It's not about needlework. It's about the needlewoman. Please don't feel you can't vent or ask for our prayers, we all do it, we are a group. I am so sorry to read this. If she drinks aspartame at all, please ask her to stop. It just makes treatments easier since it lowers serotonin levels. I hope her doctor is thorough and helpful in treatments and the right one is found. It took a friend months but the right combo was life changing. Tell her she is in our thoughts and prayers and waiting to hear she is on a healing path.

Barb said...

I know exactly what you mean. My DD and SIL have decided to divorce. Not an easy time for any of us. I will keep your family in my prayers. Stitching helps me a lot and I love that little BBD you did!

Pauline said...

Just wanted to let you know, that even though this is my first visit here, I'm feeling your pain. I have a 19yo son, and three years ago I was very worried about his mental health. He's sought treatment and in a much better place, but for quite a while, I dreaded leaving him alone. xx

Mary said...

Sending all the good, strong and positive thoughts ... this blogging community is a wonderful support and I'm so glad you let us in (even just a little)!

Vickie said...

I am praying for you all. I am so sorry Penny. Keep praying.
Penny, your BBD ornament is wonderful. I have always wanted to stitch that one.

Terri said...

I went through a very similar situation with my youngest son. Thankfully, he is doing well now. Prayers and hugs for you and your family!

Anna van Schurman said...

Best wishes for your family's returned good health and happiness.

Preeti said...

Sending you hugs and prayers, Penny. I can understand the pain of depression that you and your family is going through. There is nothing more important than life and it is not worth wasting for someone(or situation) who doesn't even know you are hurt. I hope you all feel better after some time and take medical help if needed.
Lovely stitching, keep stitching and reading, it helps.

Margaret said...

I'm so sorry you and your family are going through hard times right now. Prayers and lots of positive vibes being sent your way. Being a parent never is easy -- I thought it would get easier as they got older, but no. Not true. And now they are adults, it just seems harder, doesn't it? All the best to you. We have dealt with depression in our family as well.

Julie said...

Sending warm, caring {hug} to you Penny.
I remember my grandmother telling me when I had my first child that the worry I had when I first took him home from hosppital was just the beginning and as time passed it would become harder as he would be walking his own pathway in life and I would be standing by to help guide him. I often think of her and her wisdom as my children have grown. She also said that children bring such joy to your lives and we must remember that life is a learning lesson for us all, some of it good and some of it not so good.
I hope your children are soon a lot happier and smiling at small moments that come into their lives.
Much love to you. xxx
A lovely header picture you have on the blog

Cindy's Stitching said...

We all get thrown into the fire, but remember we all come out refined. Prayers sent your way. And this to shall pass.

Von said...

Praying for you and your children in this difficult time.

diamondc said...

Penny: I hope this post finds things getting a littler easier for you and your family.
Love the design you are working on.

Blessings
Catherine